The second person, imperative voice can be very powerful in persuasive writing that aims to make the reader act or respond. Imagine a TV commercial: “You know you want a cheeseburger! Try the new super melt!”
It can also be helpful in an informal letter to a friend giving advice, making plans, or just telling a story. Imagine an email: “Did you see how fast that turtle ran across the road this morning?”
“You” can be unintentionally disrespectful.
However, would you call your principal “You”? Would you call your teacher “You”? Would you call an SAT grader, a Bergen Academies admissions officer, or a college counselor “You”? Well, I hope not! Speaking directly to a reader can be disrespectful, especially in an informal tone.
As a teacher and grader, I have received many papers that use “You,” both in persuasive essays and literary analysis. Recently, my students read a story about a young man with Down syndrome. The essay prompt asked writers to discuss how society views people with disabilities. Some students wrote, generally, “Society sees the disabled as people with difficulties. You tend to avoid handicapped people, and you think they are suffering.”
As the grader, I am the audience for the writer’s essay. When the writer states, “You tend to avoid handicapped people,” the writer is talking to me. Now, I might be offended by such statements! I don’t do that! Wouldn’t it be better to avoid the risk of offending whoever will grade your essays?
Instead, reference a wider group of people.
Revise the sentence, replacing “you” with a reference to a broad group of people: “Society sometimes sees the disabled as people with difficulties. Some citizens tend to avoid handicapped people and think they are suffering.” As an example paragraph, it still needs a lot of detail to show who, where, when, why, and how, but we have solved the “you” problem.
So, think closely about your voice, and be aware of the strange power of first and second person, I-&-You language.
– Mr. Jesse Saul, Writing Lab instructor
Liked this post? Then check out part 1: Are You Making this Mistake on Expository and Persuasive Essays?
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Many times, high school students are told not to use first person (“I,” “we,” “my,” “us,” and so forth) in their essays. As a college student, you should realize that this is a rule that can and should be broken—at the right time, of course.
By now, you’ve probably written a personal essay, memoir, or narrative that used first person. After all, how could you write a personal essay about yourself, for instance, without using the dreaded “I” word?
However, academic essays differ from personal essays; they are typically researched and use a formal tone. Because of these differences, when students write an academic essay, they quickly shy away from first person because of what they have been told in high school or because they believe that first person feels too informal for an intellectual, researched text. Yet while first person can definitely be overused in academic essays (which is likely why your teachers tell you not to use it), there are moments in a paper when it is not only appropriate, but it is actually effective and/or persuasive to use first person. The following are a few instances in which it is appropriate to use first person in an academic essay:
- Including a personal anecdote: You have more than likely been told that you need a strong “hook” to draw your readers in during an introduction. Sometimes, the best hook is a personal anecdote, or a short amusing story about yourself. In this situation, it would seem unnatural not to use first-person pronouns such as “I” and “myself.” Your readers will appreciate the personal touch and will want to keep reading! (For more information about incorporating personal anecdotes into your writing, see "Employing Narrative in an Essay.")
- Establishing your credibility (ethos): Ethos is a term stemming back to Ancient Greece that essentially means “character” in the sense of trustworthiness or credibility. A writer can establish her ethos by convincing the reader that she is trustworthy source. Oftentimes, the best way to do that is to get personal—tell the reader a little bit about yourself. (For more information about ethos, see "Ethos.")
For instance, let’s say you are writing an essay arguing that dance is a sport. Using the occasional personal pronoun to let your audience know that you, in fact, are a classically trained dancer—and have the muscles and scars to prove it—goes a long way in establishing your credibility and proving your argument. And this use of first person will not distract or annoy your readers because it is purposeful.
- Clarifying passive constructions: Often, when writers try to avoid using first person in essays, they end up creating confusing, passive sentences.
For instance, let’s say I am writing an essay about different word processing technologies, and I want to make the point that I am using Microsoft Word to write this essay. If I tried to avoid first-person pronouns, my sentence might read: “Right now, this essay is being written in Microsoft Word.” While this sentence is not wrong, it is what we call passive—the subject of the sentence is being acted upon because there is no one performing the action. To most people, this sentence sounds better: “Right now, I am writing this essay in Microsoft Word.” Do you see the difference? In this case, using first person makes your writing clearer.
- Stating your position in relation to others: Sometimes, especially in an argumentative essay, it is necessary to state your opinion on the topic. Readers want to know where you stand, and it is sometimes helpful to assert yourself by putting your own opinions into the essay. You can imagine the passive sentences (see above) that might occur if you try to state your argument without using the word “I.” The key here is to use first person sparingly. Use personal pronouns enough to get your point across clearly without inundating your readers with this language.
Now, the above list is certainly not exhaustive. The best thing to do is to use your good judgment, and you can always check with your instructor if you are unsure of his or her perspective on the issue. Ultimately, if you feel that using first person has a purpose or will have a strategic effect on your audience, then it is probably fine to use first-person pronouns. Just be sure not to overuse this language, at the risk of sounding narcissistic, self-centered, or unaware of others’ opinions on a topic.
The First Person
Use the First Person